“Our New Lottery Will Be A Complete Success,” Declares Psychically Gifted Dear Leader

DearLeader

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea today announced the one-millionth visitor to its website would receive a free “I Heart Dear Leader” sweatshopshirt. However, the one-millionth visitor declined to click the clearly flashing link, so Dear Leader is now holding a lottery to determine who receives an extra clothing ration. Get your number at a completely non-state-run state-run convenience store near you. Fortunately, participation is mandatory.

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