Winners And Losers At The 56th Annual Grammy Awards

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Were you as starstruck as I was Sunday night? I’m still sleeping off the incredible rush I got from the 2014 Grammy Awards and also an immense hangover. No matter what kind of music you’re into, the Grammys have something for everyone. For those who missed the star-studded spectacular, here’s the rundown on the biggest winners and losers at this year’s awards:

Winners

Nanny Feldman – This little biddy is bringing sexy back to klezmer! Her recent hit “Bei Mir Bistu Shein” won Best Cover of an Andrews Sisters Song, much to the surprise of Eunice Shoenberg, who thought her “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” was a shoe-in.

Gramma Phone – Who can forget this little firecracker? After nearly twenty years of silence, Theresa Edwards – better known by her stage name Gramma Phone – wowed audiences with a surprise comeback album. Yes I’m Still Alive was the darling of the festivities, taking home Best Album By A Centenarian, Best Original Song (“These Ain’t Tremors I Just Know How To Shake It”), and a Lifetime Achievement Award from the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences.

. "Like an introductory class / I'm 101 / I go cruisin' for ass / Yeah I can handle some fun."

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“Like an introductory class / I’m 101 / My education’s on vacation / I’m just here to have fun (Yeah, shake it)”

Hard-Knit Holiday – Formed after the recent breakup of Cookie Cutters, death metal group Hard-Knit Holiday took home Best Seasonal Album for the December release of A Christmas Wreathed In Flames. Though their music is rather eclectic compared to their more traditional competition, most in attendance had to admit that 86-year-old lead singer Dolores Needlz pulled off some pretty impressive flips during her performance.

Euphemia Hayes (aka SugarBitch) – Undisputed winner of Best New Artist, Ms. Hayes enjoyed three solid months at the top of the charts for her self-titled debut album SugarBitch. MC SugarBitch also provided the opening number, delighting the audience with her hit song “Imma Whoop Yo Ass.” Rap on, Ms. Hayes, rap on!

Sugarbitch

Losers

Edna Kravitz – Repeatedly spurned for her eclectic brand of new wave funk, Mrs. Kravitz refused to appear, even snubbing personal friends Old Lady Harper and the members of Grandma’s Apron. Not classy, Kravitz!

Yolanda Johnson – Ms. Johnson had to attend her grandson’s third birthday party, and was unable to attend the evening. She sends her regards.

Bruno Mars – His hit “Locked Out of Heaven” lost to Lorde’s “Royals.” Better luck next year!

Victoria Smith (aka Dirty Vikki) – Her newest album, Bake Dat Shit, is a hip-hop departure from her standard prog-rock fare and was universally panned. Dirty Vikki Smith wasn’t even nominated this year. At least she had the courtesy to show up! (We’re looking at you, Kravitz.)

bakedatshit

Who were you rooting for this year? Sound off in the comments!

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7 responses to “Winners And Losers At The 56th Annual Grammy Awards

  1. And here I was looking for real news on the Grammy’s… but this is better. Hey, just asking, but is that Sugar Bitch chick single? Because she should be. Ha!

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