The Apathy Argument

A friend of mine and I had an argument over who was more apathetic. He said that he cared far less than I did, but I knew that wasn’t true. I mean, nobody can possibly care less than I do. Whenever there’s a huge emergency, I just sit there and think about how awesome it would be to fly. The argument went pretty well for me at first, but then it took a nasty turn. My friend told me that he cared so little, that he didn’t even care. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I mean, that’s sort of like saying you care infinitely, but the exact opposite, which I guess would be zero. Or something like that.

Finally, after about twenty minutes of just staring at the floor, I came up with a brilliant comeback. I wanted to say that I didn’t even care about how little I cared, which wasn’t the best thing to say, but I had to say something. Before I could say anything, though, my friend told me I had won. He was truly shocked that I cared so little about the argument that I could just stare at the floor for twenty minutes. I had won the apathy argument. And thus I lost.

Until next time, this is Xavier Yes. Stay classical, while I try my hardest to stay sedentary on the living room sofa staring at a blank wall.


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