Pavlov's Hair Conditioner Welcome To Burlington


Spring has long since sprung, but snow loves the frozen Republic of Vermont more than a Deadhead stoner with a craving for Cabot cheese. Finally though, it’s begun the long process of melting, gradually reminding us that there is soil beneath the permafrost and what a major pain in the ass that soil’s going to be come mud season. The snow has been with us for so long it feels like an old friend. And old friend who everyone pretends to like because nobody can admit that, frankly, they are sick and tired of seeing his stupid face every time they make plans for the weekend. To commemorate and celebrate the passing of our dearly departed inconvenience, here’s a timeline of a Vermont winter more bitter than Almond Tonic-Water Swirl Ben & Jerry’s.

The first major snowstorm hit us mid-November. Here’s the parking lot of my apartment building a few minutes into the dusting:


You can actually see the windshield reflecting the little spark of hope and joy in my eye before it was extinguished by the next storm.

Oddly enough, by December we actually had less snow.


Old Man Winter felt bad about the lack of snow and gave us subzero temperatures instead.

The lack of snow did not last, though, and two days later we got this:


Thank goodness we kept the -20º air.

At this point, all the native New Englanders knew we were in for a doozy. Before winter even started we’d had more storms than I cared to photograph. Lake Champlain froze over, which has happened only a handful of times in decades. And of course we had that pesky polar vortex. Enjoy the next few pictures, because I almost lost my fingers taking them.


Yup, those are all frozen over.

The new year showed no sign of being any less cold or white. On New Year’s Day I drove back to Burlington after spending the holidays with family. My boyfriend’s parents were getting married, and damned if I was going to miss the ceremony. They couldn’t have chosen a more beautiful day.


Though considering the temperature, I really wish they could have.

Church Street was no less gorgeous, but much less capable of sustaining human life.


Eventually the snow stopped falling, and froze over instead.


…turning our cul-de-sac into a skating rink.

Everything froze.


There’s a metaphor in here somewhere.

Main Street – which is one giant hill from the lake to the highway – was coated in black ice. The sidewalks were impossible to navigate, but the Main Street Slalom was the most fun I’ve had in years. Just avoid the cars.

This winter may have been the coldest in ages, but I’ve found a way to keep warm.

There’s too much snow for one post so check back later. We haven’t even gotten to the big storms yet.