Just Quickly



#TheDress is exploding on Twitter right now but to me it just sounds like the name of some forgotten Seinfeld episode. Elaine buys a dress for a party intending on returning it the next day. At the party, she meets George’s clingy new girlfriend Stacy – the cashier who rang up her new dress and talks in a childishly high-pitched voice. Unable to return the dress while Stacy is working, Elaine spends the week staking out the department store waiting for her day off. With only one day left on the return policy, Kramer offers to bring it in for her. On the way he stops for a coffee, but as he fumbles for his wallet he knocks the cup into the bag with the dress, ruining it.

The store closes in four hours and the only dry cleaner between there and the coffee shop is owned by a man Kramer is feuding with over six cents he’s convinced he was stiffed on last time he got change. As it happens, Jerry is on his way to that very cleaners, having recently switched from his old spot after the owner never indulged his small talk. Kramer begs Jerry to get the dress cleaned, but Jerry is hesitant. He’s picking up an order for his girlfriend, a noticeably different size and style from Elaine, and doesn’t want his new cleaner to think he’s cheating on her.

Finally Kramer wins, and Jerry brings the dress in to be laundered. When Jerry takes a seat to wait, the owner informs him he will have to come back tomorrow. Jerry protests, pointing to the “While You Wait” sign, but the cleaner insists that he is closing for the day. Taking the opportunity to prove himself right – he’d told Elaine returning the dress was a bad idea – he tells the cleaner to keep the dress and leaves.

Meanwhile, Elaine hasn’t heard from Kramer and imagines that he was successful. While attempting the same trick at a different department store, she sees a rack of the exact dress she’d bought a week ago being rolled out a service entrance and asks the cashier what’s going on. The woman informs her that the dye used in the dress had proved to be toxic, and the manufacturer was refunding anyone who had purchased the defective clothes.

Back in Jerry’s apartment, Elaine discovers the dress was never returned. Before she can react, a grinning George bursts in with Stacy in tow, wearing the same dress she sold Elaine. “Look what Georgie bought me, Elaine! He says the store was practically giving them away!”